One of my favourite things about being around kids is listening to them talk. With not a care in the world, and a lack of any “filter”, the things that come out of a kid’s mouth can either leave you with your jaw hitting the floor, or your belly cramping up in extreme pain after fits of laughter.
Ever the animated kid, X-Man tends to do both to us, depending upon the conversation he comes out with.
On a recent 40 minute drive with X-Man, he and I ended up covering the following topics – all of which were started “out-of-the-blue” by X-Man himself:
A debate about whether or not it’s Santa who brings presents to him at Christmas. Apparently he thinks it’s his parents who do that. Quote “I don’t think it’s Santa who brings me the presents at Christmas…I think it’s my mom and dad”. Without alluding to the truth, I ask him why he thinks this. Turns out (big surprise) he heard this at the school playground. Lucky for me he suddenly changed topics mid-talk…no further explanation needed on my part. Phew!
A confession that he is ALWAYS going to live with his parents. I ask “don’t you want to live in your own house one day?” to which X-Man responds “Nooooo I don’t want to live in my own house – it’s too much work!” Lol…I guess he pays more attention to the things his mom and dad do than we thought he did.
Numerous short conversations about the various cars we pass on the road and what types of motors they have in them and how much horsepower they have. He’s definitely a chip off the ‘ol block. When it comes to cars, he speaks a whole other language I barely understand. This reminded me of the time we were at a local fair waiting in line for a ride and he yells out to me “Look! This ride has 2 drive shafts!”
It’s even more fun when there is more than one kid involved in a conversation. Clearly, a conversation between two 8-year-old boys is not usually an “intelligent” one, but it’s definitely amusing. More often than not, these types of conversations centre around bodily parts and/or bodily functions. You know…the things that fascinate the mind of an 8-year-old boy.
We found this out last week while traveling in the car with X-Man and his new best friend, D. Our destination was about 20 minutes away, and the two kids had us giggling in the front seat the whole time. We sat there listening, giggling, and of course, I took notes. It went pretty much like this:
X-Man: I had a dream last night that you went to my school and I went to your school.
D: Well, I had a dream that I was lying in my bed and a train drove over my house.
Then suddenly on to the next topic…
D: My teacher…she has a friend who is 9 and had a baby.
Me: 9? Really? She had a baby? Hmmm…I don’t think so.
D: Yes really. My teacher has another friend who had a baby the size of a pinky (as he holds up his pinky finger to show me) and it took her a long time to give birth to the baby.
Me: (Not really sure HOW to respond to that comment) Well I don’t think the baby would have been THAT small…and if it were, it would not have taken the friend a long time to give birth.
Sudden change of topic again (thank goodness!)…
D: I’m usually at the water park by now. When I go with my dad and my sister, it doesn’t take this long.
Me: Well, perhaps they know a better way to get there. That’s ok, just enjoy the drive. We aren’t in any rush.
On to another topic…
X-Man: I thought you spelled “poo” with a B.
Me: Um…no…you spell “poo” with a P, silly.
More giggling from the backseat…then…
D: My neighbour Vanessa showed me this.
I turned around to see what he was pointing at…
X-Man: Her boob?
D: Yes! *Giggling*
X-Man: Was it big?
X-Man’s Dad: Can we just stop talking about this please?
(I’m laughing so hard tears are streaking down my cheeks)
D: It had bumps on it *Giggling*
X-Man: I saw my mom’s boobs once and they had bumps on them too!
(I’m laughing even harder in the front seat at this point and can’t even talk…more tears rolling down my cheeks)
X-Man’s Dad: Ok enough! Let’s talk about something else!
X-Man: A kid at my school, he took down his pants in front of everyone…I almost vomited. I gagged.
X-Man’s Dad: Ok…I said enough! Let’s just talk about cars. Look at that car over there…
(Both boys in the backseat look at the car..and then…)
D: I vomited all over my bed and all over my legs and my belly once.
X-Man: Well, one time when I was a baby, I ate grapes and radishes and then vomited all over myself.
Thank goodness something outside the car window caught their attention and that was the end of the silly little conversation inside the car. We arrived at our destination with the boys ready to jump in the water…and us wondering, after that nonsensical conversation, what kind of a crazy afternoon we were about to have…